Until recently I felt that my life was in a rut. I was a mediocre Net Artist like many, supported by student-based philosophies. You know post-this and post-that, and much of the time was wasted on self-promotion as a singular entity; I spent most of my time licking ass to get my work known or seen.

My life changed when I met the members of ‘logic.org’. A secret group of renegade x artists, who were once well respected in their fields but unhappy with the direction that Net Art was going. They were the ones who introduced much of the Internet ideologies to the institutions in the first place, and the institutions have been sending their own x students into the Net arena globally. We decided that we had contributed to this ourselves and had to change things. It was all getting too commercial, and many of the original works created by the original dudes by ‘logic.org’ were being forgotten and not given the historical respect that was so evidently deserved.

So we got together and created a plan that would change all this, which of course would prey on all the new unsuspecting Net Artists. An action of sabotage that would be so neat, so sweet, they wouldn’t know what hit them. The plan was so well organized, that no one would be able to find out who we really were. Until we all decided to declare it as an experimental Avant-garde Internet project that is, thus revealing our identities at the right time and claiming our Net sovereignty as the best Net Artists on Earth.

So now most of the time we all pretend we are someone else. There are a few of us, about 10 approximately; and it is all top secret. We mainly attack contemporary Net Art lists, where many people link up and discuss various ideas around Net Art and other issues. We attack the most prominent members of those lists to try and create discord so communication is thwarted. The extra icing on the cake is that I, I mean we, use ‘Net Bots’, these are programs disguising us; using code from selected sites via search engine capabilities. Collecting words to infiltrate and attack the victims, immediately challenging them to conform to a language that is code based. Plus we can use a percentage of our own personalities, or fantasy characters. Our plan is working, we have successfully infiltrated many Art lists on the Net, causing the users to feel disillusioned by it all, they tend to just disappear, leave the lists fed up with it all. This makes collaborations less possible, and we can get our projects noticed whilst others are dealing with the chaos.

Of course being an elite anarchist-Net bot is a lonely business. We are a tight nit group and I am fed up with sleeping with them all over and over again. So one of the members of our group (who shall remain nameless) informed me of the ‘Net Art Friend Finder system’. I can chat with a guy first and lay out the course of a date, getting exactly what I want at the end of the night.

Yesterday, for example, I went out with this nice guy. He took me to dinner and wined and dined me all night long. Afterwards he invited me up to his apartment for a drink. I told him I didn't need any more alcohol to enjoy him and we rushed upstairs. We moved into his bedroom right away and he offered me a big pile of money. I looked at it, wondering what the hell he was talking about. He told me this was his first time dating someone from the ‘Net Art Friend Finder system’ and that he thought I was a hooker. I was a little stunned and there was a lot of money there. I finally got up the nerve to tell him that I wasn't a pro, I was there for fun.

He felt so embarrassed he gave me the money anyway. I stuffed it into my purse and threw him down onto the bed. I whispered in his ear ‘you dirty Net Artist, where’s your condom? I want to assimilate your flesh and merge it with mine right now’. His eyes lit up and I slithered down his chest, kissing it gently, till I reached his pants. I slipped them off and exposed his neck of land. I just had to suck it, and it felt so good to have his mountainous range hitting the back of my mouth. I nibbled on him for a while and then he started to finger my Kunda.

He hit all the right spots and soon I was warm and moist and I felt the itch to get laid, so I got on top of him and slid that almond rock of his deep down into my Kali path. I rocked back and forth and bounced up and down on his now over heated thermo blaster. He enjoyed every minute and I started to moan as I came near to climax. I felt the passions come over me and I fell into his arms as he continued to impale my forest of sensual delights. We tried several positions and every one got better than the last. After a few minutes on my back, he exploded and pulled out at the last second, creaming all over my secret ‘logic.org’ manuals.

Wow, we both lied down and collected ourselves. I asked him how I compared to a ‘Net Art Hooker’, since he obviously had used pros before and he said I was the best lay he had ever had in his life. I smiled and asked him if he knew anyone else who would like to get serviced like him for cash, and he set me up with several other Net Art guys. I never wanted to be a ‘Net Art Hooker’, but I do love the sex and I'd pound any Net Art guy for free but if they want to pay me, well then I'm not refusing it. So now I have another career, not only am I an irritating bot, ruining other peoples possible Net Art Adventures. I am now also a ‘Net Art Hooker’, giving pleasure probably to some of those who’s careers I have ruined. Hehe…