I'm only one person and I'm working as hard as I can. So what am I doing wrong, or what did I miss? When the Austrian government – like the governments of so many other formerly enlightened social welfare states – recently announced a staggeringly long list of radical budget cuts, one of the "responsible" politicians superciliously remarked that we have all just been "spoiled" by the social welfare state for too long and will have to get used to standing on our own feet now. When I read that on the front page of the newspaper, I felt so terribly angry and resentful – and I have the feeling that since I have already long run out of feet to stand on, the rug is about to be pulled out from underneath me as well.

Yesterday evening as I sat in the hospital where I was visiting my mother-in-law, it made me so sad to see her worried, somehow feeling that something has gone wrong, but without any framework left to understand what has happened and what to do now. When she sighed so sadly and said, "It's all such a mess, but there is nothing one can do," it almost scared me. My parents-in-law are anything but socialists and have always adhered devoutly to the belief that if you just work hard and don't cause trouble, you will prosper and be happy and everything will be fine. And they have indeed worked very hard all their lives, followed all the rules and achieved a modestly comfortable life for themselves now in their old age. From my feminist perspective, my mother-in-law belongs to the generation of women most presumptuously exploited in the post-war economic boom, all those women who mended things and "made do" and took care of everyone else's comfort and took pride in not needing anything. There are many of these women still alive today, who are still "making do" and taking pride in how minimal their needs are. They have saved the social security system vast amounts of money, because they do not claim the benefits they are legally and morally entitled to, because they would be ashamed to need to take "charity” – and claiming benefits is intentionally made to look like asking for charity. In the end, I assured my mother-in-law that she doesn't need to do anything, except to bear being stuck in the hospital again as patiently as possible, and I know how patient she can be in situations like that. At the same time, though, I feel that for both her sake and mine, I cannot simply resign myself to "this mess" and accept that "one cannot do anything". Maybe "one" can't, but perhaps many can: it is time to form alliances.

As it is now, being a "one-person business", there are not many benefits that I can claim in any case. Over the past two years, there have been so many times that I longed to be employed in some sensible, stable position, no matter how boring it might be. As an employee somewhere, anywhere, I could have taken extensive sick leave; I could even have let my family doctor or therapist send me on a "Kur" to one of the many quiet and pleasant recuperation centers that are available in Austria. Then I could have been able to just rest or cry until I no longer needed to and try to find my way out of the dark cloud surrounding me without pressure. There is perhaps a possibility that those kinds of healing opportunities are also available to self-employed people in Austria, but if they are, then finding them, organizing them, dealing with the bureaucracy that inevitably entails, was certainly beyond my capabilities. There was nothing else I could do but to continue to struggle to go on working somehow. I was incredibly fortunate to find exactly the right support to be able to go on, but I hated not being able to offer regular employment and a reliable salary to the wonderful young people who came to my rescue. One cannot give what one does not have.

So am I just "spoiled", as this politician claimed? Unless I am much mistaken, this politician does indeed receive a regular, substantial monthly salary with the usual bonus twice a year, six weeks of paid holiday time, sick leave and care leave as needed, all of which has been regarded until now as "normal" in Austria. The weight of prosperity that he proudly displays in his girth suggests a nice house in a genteel neighborhood and a representative car as well, in addition to all the "perks" that politicians may claim. I do not begrudge him any of those advantages. In fact, I quite agree that this should be "normal". Unfortunately, however, it is anything but normal in the world I live in. Among the people of my acquaintance, I don't think there are many left with "normal", stable situations of employment with all that goes along with those positions. Yet the people I know do work very hard, exhibit tremendous creativity in dealing with difficult situations, constantly juggling multiple "projects" while making valuable (unpaid) contributions to civil society at the same time. What feet of their own are they supposed to stand on now? When another violin maker came by recently to borrow something, we ended up venting our frustration together about the exponentially growing bureaucracy that is becoming increasingly oppressive for all of us "one-person enterprises" (at least now the Chamber of Commerce has a designation for us). Standing in the doorway, the violin maker sighed and remarked glumly that he sometimes wishes for a general basic income for everyone, so that he could just do his work without having to charge for it. Then no one would have to deal with the ludicrous invoicing regulations and life would be easier and more enjoyable for everyone. I agree with him.

Since I have no benefits to lose, I am not actually directly affected by the budget cuts. That doesn't help, though, because I do not live and work in a vacuum. Over the course of many years, I have become "successful" (i.e. able to consistently earn my living) by establishing myself as a translator in certain niches. Those niches are about to be obliterated.

At the same time, young people between the ages of 18 and 26 are about to be trapped between withdrawal of state support, increasing pressure to finish their studies within a minimum period of time in hopelessly overrun, underfunded and thoroughly chaotic institutions of higher education that have lost all sense of perspective. While they struggle to get by with any precarious jobs they can find, regardless of the exploitation those jobs entail, they fall through all the holes in the social security net that was never meant to have to withhold the pressure of precarious employment. My sons are now 18 and 20 years old, and their irresponsible parents made the mistake of raising them to believe that they can make valuable contributions to society – and have a responsibility and an obligation to do so – in various different ways, rather than drilling them to become competitive, career-oriented and always looking out for their own personal interests. And our sons made the fatal mistake of believing in their silly parents' idealism. Consequently, in light of the proposed budget cuts, they will almost certainly need additional financial support from their parents for some years to come. At this point, I have no idea how I can provide additional financial support for my sons, when the source of my own livelihood is about to be cut off. Stand? On what legs?

It's not just about the money, though. Undoubtedly, I am extremely privileged that I have so far been able to earn a living translating texts by authors I respect and enjoy reading, people with extensive knowledge who are able to make important connections and put the madness into context. Gerald Raunig, Isabell Lorey, Stefan Nowotny, Hito Steyrl, Oliver Ressel, Marina Gržinić, Marion von Osten all spring immediately to mind, and the longer I think about it, the more I could name – all the theoreticians and artists, curators and activists, academics and practitioners, feminists and philosophers, who all contribute their knowledge, their skills, their imagination and idealism to a larger pool of trying to figure out what we all need to live and to live well together. I find it very hard to believe that it is a coincidence that exactly these kinds of spaces of reflection are again endangered by "budget cuts". Of course, people are much easier to manipulate, if they don't have time or energy or space to just stop and think about what they are doing and why they are doing it. But what is the point of that kind of manipulation? Who benefits from it? How?

If the politician is right and "we" are all just spoiled by the social welfare state (and I admit that I immediately feel guilty too, because I have not always lived in a generous social welfare state: I came here by choice from a very different kind of state), then I think the logical conclusion is that amenities like decent, universal and affordable health care and good, universal, free education are luxuries that one must earn the privilege of enjoying. But how does one earn that privilege? Why is a self-satisfied politician entitles to those luxuries, but a passionate young leftist hip hop musician is not? Somehow I must have missed something, since I was not aware of living in a meritocracy and now I have no idea how these kinds of privileges are earned. How does one earn the privilege of being born in the "right" place into the "right" circumstances? Self-motivation, creativity, resourcefulness, determination: positive attributes when applied to people born in the "right" region with the "right" skin color, gender, sexual identity, language, class, etc.; anyone from outside Fortress Europe or who deviates in other ways from what is "right" will face harsh punitive measures for attempting to exercise these same attributes. Is there a web site, a brochure, a public service announcement somewhere that delineates when, where and how certain attributes and attitudes have positive consequences or negative ones? How does one earn being rewarded or punished for the same behavior? And who makes these rules and whose interests do they serve? Clearly there are different rules that apply to the movements and circulation of consumer goods than to potential consumers, let alone the actual producers of those goods. But again: who makes those rules and whose interests do they serve?

Or perhaps a better question: how can we change those rules to benefit huge segments of people, who just want to be able to live amicably together without fear in an equitable and caring society?

The budge cuts proposed by the Austrian government are explained as being necessary for "the economy", but I am still missing an explanation of what that means. What use is an "economy" without a social fabric? If supranational corporations employ whole departments to ensure that the amount of taxes they pay is as low as possible, it is clear that their interests are wholly solipsistic, as they have no ties to any specific community or society and thus no reason to assume responsibility. Although I principally have no objections to paying taxes, as I have very strong ties to a specific community within a specific country, those of us who are "one-person enterprises" cannot make up the difference in tax revenue not paid by corporate entities without ties or responsibilities. It seems to me that the kinds of cuts proposed by the Austrian government promote more selfishness than self-reliance, more isolation and insecurity than solidarity. Somehow, somewhere there must be someone benefiting from this current mess. Whoever it is, it is not anyone I know. Maybe my circle of acquaintance is much smaller than I realized. Maybe all the people who post poisonous comments to online forums have privileges wholly unknown to me, privileges they have earned by adhering to rules I have not yet discovered, so they have good reason to retaliate against anything perceived as a threat to the privileges that are purportedly justly and rightly theirs. Or maybe they are just afraid they will be left holding the last thin threads when the rest of the fabric of society is unraveled and shredded, and there is nothing left to tie those threads to.

In any case, I have decided that I will not work Friday afternoon. I'm going to look for feet to stand on at the demo in Linz protesting the cuts. It may not be a wise decision, considering the amount of taxes and social security that I have to pay this month and the prospect that the continuous stream of work I have been accustomed to for so many years may not continue – contrary to my financial obligations that will probably continue rising. But my mother-in-law will be in the hospital for some time yet, and while "one" cannot do anything, maybe many can. When I go to visit her again, even though I know she abhors demonstrations, I need to be able to tell her that "we" are trying.